Seeking inspiration for this post I went back and re-read my intentions for this year.

As I look back with 2020 vision, I was surprised to read that I was going to be a man, a leading man that is (really if a man can do it). I wanted to take control of whom I danced with, yet more than that I wanted more dances, more fun! Which meant I needed to learn more dance styles beyond serious sensuous tango. And as directed by my 2020 stars, Virgos were charged to go out and have more fun. Fun was my north star for 2020 and dancing would take me there.

I opened my arms and fun arrived in the form of bachata, salsa, merengue, samba, rumba, waltz, swing, jive, balboa, foxtrot, quickstep and cha cha. I felt the pulsation, beat and rhythm through my body. My new latin/ballroom friends opened their homes to private dance parties. I connected with new people, now new friends and new fun. I was introduced to dancing styles across the ages, to new shoes, new dresses and new music, more new fun. I became a DJ as I could “control” the music and squeeze in some tangoesque songs.

I was having loads of fun, yet I soon realised fun was sweet and I craved for the savouring of life too. It was time to delve deeper and listen to my intuitive most inner desires. My daily meditations unearthed my unconscious thoughts of being insignificant, not good enough and a fraud. Ah that old chestnut of Mrs Doubtfire again. As Carl Jung said…

“Until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate”

Armed with my self-defeating thoughts and habits, I began to take charge and course corrected by north star in answer to my true desires beyond fun. And this is when I became bold and stepped into feeling beautiful.

I had the desire to be heard. So I responded to Jules Schiller for first time talk-back radio callers (my most nervous moment of the year), I said yes to an international podcast interview, I was produced in a recording studio and I spoke to 100 people at once.

I had the desire to be known. I coached executives in a mansion, I meditated with accountants, and I took architects for walks in the park and 40 teachers paid attention to me. I braved the complexity of Zoom (just to keep going) so I could guide meditations to many and a few times to nobody. I started the process of becoming a Level 2 yoga teacher in my mind.

I had the desire to be loved. I partied and danced in the street with my mum. I had a strong yearning to learn piano accordion played by my father. Until holding the instrument was enough to connect me with dad once again. I gave my full attention to my little nieces and my aging cat Archie. I shared holiday memories with my new friends from the pulpit of our shack at Pondalowie Bay. I went on a blind-date.

Looking back at my year I realised how bold I was and that I have had some truly beautiful experiences. Were these experiences planned? In a way yes they were, but it took conscious realisation to bring them to fruition and to take action.

I am proud of what I have achieved and that is all that matters to me because only I know what it took for me to get there. I am certain if you look back upon your year, you too will be proud of what you have achieved through your own adversity and self-limiting beliefs, and that is all that truly matters.